Living by the Calendar

“As long as you have someone who loves you, life isn’t a waste. So when things go wrong and you feel like quitting, please remember you’ve still got me”

I feel it has been long since I last emptied my mind into this blank page, but I feel I need to let out most of the foolish feelings and thoughts going inside the mind of someone who is truly, madly and deeply in love. And so, I dedicate this time of my day to my heart.

As Love has struck my soul and the man of my dreams has walked into my life, we both are trying to stay composed in the insanity of a long distance relationship.

Whenever I think about how we met, and about our heavenly connection, I can’t help but think that it was divine intervention. Two strangers miles apart, we meet by chance and our paths crossed like we are meant to be together. You came into my life when it was all dark, brightened up my days and showed me the way. And For the first time in my life I feel true happiness, but I can’t help missing our intimacy.

How silly it is to live by the calendar. Have you ever tried that? I count days till our next vacation together, I count days till I am yours forever, and I count days till I wake up next to you again and feel safe. I try to stop counting days… But how can I stop counting days when the reason I am breathing is the same that takes my breath away every second of the day.

Do you know why I count days?

I count days because I want to drink my morning cup of coffee with you

Because I want to watch a movie and sleep in your arms

Because I want to go on dates with you

I count days because I miss looking at you while you shave and get ready for work

I count days because I want to eat your home made popcorn

I count days because I want to hold you in my arms and hug you forever

I cant wait for our day to come, it will be a celebration of Life and Love. And then I will throw all the calendars away. But for now, let me count the days, because every day that passes is brining me closer to life.

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Pugliese Cuisine – The hidden food gems

The cuisine of Puglia and the Salento region is not appreciated fully

Some of the mouth-watering food items that I had the pleasure to experience….

Taralli

Puccia

Orecchiette

Rustico

Pasticciotto (A favorite to me :P)

And many more….

A letter to my best friend……. The hardest break ups are those between friends

It started almost 7 years ago….

Airport gate, reading a book, change of seats and voila! I‘ve got ME a best friend! The funny part was that I’ve never thought of you as a best friend up until I found you the knight in the shining armor in my deepest darkest falls.

I will just elude the details of how we met, because the reason I’m writing this note is to express my gratitude, my love and all the stream of emotions inside of me.

You are the reason I believe friends are more important than lovers. From the days you dried up my tears by little rides all over town, to the nights you had to baby sit “drunken loser me”, to our lengthy night conversations about our fears and dreams, you are the one I would always find by my side and the only one I will always turn to.

I know that we have had our fights and screaming fiascos, but sugar you need to understand where I come from in order for the fights to stop! What I have for you is strong admiration, you are so confident, so strong, so stable, you are what I wish I would become one day, you are so perfectly comfortable in your own skin and I just look up and admire how well you pace your steps in life. On the other hand, I feel jealous of you!  And not only because you get the better looking guys lol, but because you are everything I ‘m not!  You represent STRENGTH at its best and I am the distinctive idea of weakness, you are the confident, perfect, successful idol and I am the lost girl still trying to put together shattered pieces  of her life.

I’m not quite sure if you affect me negatively or positively, but your bitchy mean gay comments just remind me of our different personalities and how easily you let go of people . I have never thought that friends could break up and I am not sure if this fight marks the split but what I am sure of, is that life will never be the same without you. Not after what we have been through.

You are the friend I will cherish till the day I die . You are simply and utterly perfect! The best person I’ve met and I’m the luckiest girl to have been your friend.

A note on being an over-protector

During the last couple of years I have learned a lot about myself, mainly, accepting who I am.

Learning to live and enjoy my life and fighting for what I believe in hasn’t been easy. To be honest, there have been times when I felt I should just give in and accept the notions and dogmas of everyone around me. For instance, my tears usually run down easily, this, to many people exemplifies weakness; however, I came to acknowledge that it is a sign of my strength. In fact, I believe now that the specific act of crying, show that I’m confident with displaying my inner state and it’s easier for me now to express my love, gratitude, fear, care and passion.

One of the defining moments in any relationship, whether between lovers, parents, children, siblings or friends is when you think you are going to lose them; that fear, makes you realize that they mean a  lot more than you have imagined. For me- and due to the fact that everything is so dissimilar going on inside my rambling senseless head- that moment is when I discover that someone’s smile just lights up the shady corners in my heart and I find myself thinking about how they are doing long after I say goodbye  . I do get attached easily to people and as much as I hate to admit, I do have a certain condition of over-protectiveness. I don’t want to share people close to my heart with others that might not have their best interest in mind. And I know that this is pretty lame or sick or you can call it whatever you like, but this is one of the feelings that now I ‘m comfortable in conveying. And I am learning to let it go, and to accept that people I love might be happier experiencing things on their own.

The other day, I discovered that I love a specific person a lot more that I thought, my over-protectiveness was kicking in, because I just wanted him to be safe with me, to hang out with me, to laugh with me and to have his last drink for the night with me.  You see I wanted that person to spend time with me, not only because I enjoy his company, but also because I felt it’s my duty to keep him safe from any slight possibility of getting hurt.

That was the defining moment in my relation with izoo. The brother I’ve always wanted but never had up until now.  I felt so much love that I wanted to let him go, to let him be happy and to let him be free. Here’s to you izoo…. you made my feelings flow, you’re worth more than a mention ,  you deserve a post for all the ways you made me express my secret battle to overcome being an over-protector.

Nostalgia

The concept of memories is weird. You never TRULY appreciate a good moment unless you allow it to pass by

The Aztec Empire and Human nature

So I have signed up for this new history course on coursera

Did I mention how much I loved this website?

What a great initiative!

I finished three courses and I was so happy with the content and the idea of making learning a free experience that I registered for another one.

For all the people responsible for the education system, please acknowledge that Information is out there and it’s free; do not put a price tag on it! Do not make Learning a money making machine.

Back to my original thought.  I subscribed to this history course titled “A History of the World since 1300” which I fell in love with from the introductory video lecture, it is provided by Princeton University and for all history lovers out there, this is worth checking.

I think I’ve always loved history, especially world history, but the whole educational system made it seem very rigid and very tough. It is so unfair how history classes have always been portrayed as boring, inflexible and memory grueling classes.

So I am almost in my third week, and some of the mind simulating info that was introduced, includes a ritual practiced by the Aztec Empire, which is human sacrifices. Humans’ hearts were ripped out and blood ran on pyramids in an action of gratitude to gods and to ensure the sun keeps burning, this action was performed by priests, and one of the reasons it seized was that priests got tired of this ritual. This piece of info made me pause for a moment, and think about human nature, is it essentially a savage nature? If so, how did the new world managed to tame it down and domesticate it? Isn’t it almost impossible to tame down a wild hyena? And if we assumed that humans aren’t  principally savage, then how can we explain this brutal ritual that went on for years and the Aztec people who performed and accepted that  arguably “against their nature” behavior?

Is there any rational answer?

In a Haze

I’m wrapped in a weird haze, I’m sober yet I’m twirled with buzz

I’m paralyzed yet I feel the pain

I’m lighter than air, I’m in a hurricane of souls, I can share what everyone else feels

Is it giving up or getting stronger? Is it dying or living?

Breathing seems like a chore…

I’ve changed my beliefs I’m someone new, I’m rising out of ashes

The humming bird turned into a phoenix

I can scream while keeping calm, I feel bonding with a superior being but is it god or devil

Someone show me the truth, all I need is peace of heart

Am I a good person or a bad one? And who decides what’s good and what’s bad?

Are human beings evil or they are just weak creatures that surrender to any tempting power

That battleship inside my chest will have to reach a haven, enough sailing through corners of my soul.